Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
