he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize