My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
