hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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