There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
