Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
