bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
birth control should be required to get into college
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
