I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
