She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
