went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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