Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
