We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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