Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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