Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
