just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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