She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
