you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think my moral compass just broke
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
