I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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