In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
A+ Viking dick
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