So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
