Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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