***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
false alarm. still invincible.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
