Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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