I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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