i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
