How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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