this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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