forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
