I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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