dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
