I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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