im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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