Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
