Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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