Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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