Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
