$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
