Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
