Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
