woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
