He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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