We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
