I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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