I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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