How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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