on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
