i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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