did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
