do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize