Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
