I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize