walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
