i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
