Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
