She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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