Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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