I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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