my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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