I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
