i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
