So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
