next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
