I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish I only lived at night.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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