He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
