operation harelip BJ is a go
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
