I think I won the penis lottery.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
