i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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