Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
