3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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