The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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