508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
