This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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