before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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