i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
