You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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