I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
