there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
