Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
