My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
