Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
