awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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