Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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